Beech Lodge private Nursing Home, Ireland
Putting On The Brakes: How To Know When Mom And Dad
Should Stop Driving
By Paula Tchirkow
The short answer is: It’s better to be safe than
sorry.
That may sound trite but that’s the advice I give
adult children who are worried about whether their elderly
mother or father should still be driving. The major
deciding factor should be this: if you think your parent
can get hurt or endanger the lives of pedestrians, other
drivers and their passengers, then the time has come
to ask for the keys.
It won’t be easy. Driving is the single most important
issue that represents freedom, independence and self-esteem
for your elderly parent. Take that away and parents
often feel helpless and at a loss, knowing they will
have to rely on others for driving.
To make sure you’re making the right decision,
here are two options to consider:
• Find a driver rehabilitation specialist (DRS)
in your area who will give your parent an eye exam and
on-the-road driving test. The DRS will tell your elderly
parent whether he/she should be driving. Although these
programs are primarily offered by rehab facilities for
adults with disabilities, many also make this service
available to the elderly. Even though it is not a state
or legal requirement, it is my opinion that any driver
over the age of 70 should be tested every two years
to determine if he/she is a safe driver. You can contact
your doctor for a referral or the Association for Driver
Rehabilitation Specialists (ADED) for a specialist in
your area. Their website: www.driver-ed.org or www.aded.net
or telephone number: 1-800-290-2344.
• Take a test drive yourself with mom or dad.
Do you think that he/she is a safe driver? Answer the
questionaire provided by the American Medical Association
called “Am I a Safe Driver?” to determine
if your parent’s safety is at risk. See Page 3
of the pdf document at http://www.ama-assn.org/ama1/pub/upload/mm/433/appendixb.pdf
If you take the test drive with your elderly parent,
here are some of the warning signs that indicate your
parent may need to stop driving:
• Drives too slow or too fast;
• Stops in traffic for no apparent reason;
• Confuses the gas with the brake pedal;
• Oblivious to other cars, pedestrians, bike riders;
• Ignores, misinterprets or disobeys stop signs
and traffic lights;
• Doesn’t stay in lane;
• Turns left from the right lane;
• Reflexes are not sharp and response time is slow;
• Judges distance poorly between cars while driving
and/or parking;
• Gets honked at frequently or passed often;
• Fails to yield to pedestrians or drivers who
have right of way;
• Has an unusual number of dents or fender benders;
• Has paint on his/her car from driving into the
side of the house
• Has difficulty looking over the neck or shoulders
while driving or parking;
• Is not strong enough to grip wheel or turn it
suddenly in an emergency such as when a child darts
into the road;
• Appears drowsy, confused or frightened;
• Gets lost in familiar places and forgets where
the car has been parked
• Runs over curbs and medians.
Combine two or more of the above warning signs with
recent tickets for moving violations, comments from
passengers about close calls or near misses, and recent
increases in insurance premiums and you can be sure
your parent is at risk.
You should also know that older people need three times
as much light to drive at night and that their peripheral
vision deteriorates with age. Cataracts, macular degeneration
and glaucoma are also three conditions that can interfere
with vision.
In addition, there are also a variety of other physical
and medical conditions that can impair driving. For
example, observe your elderly parent getting in and
out of chairs. If he/she has difficulty with this task,
your parent may have stiff joints which could hamper
driving.
Other medical conditions that could affect driving
include cardiovascular diseases and certain psychiatric
or neurological conditions. For example, severe arthritis,
Parkinson’s disease and several mini strokes are
warning signs that your parent should not be driving.
Although some may disagree, elderly parents who have
dementia should not be driving. This disease causes
serious memory, personality and behavioral problems
that puts your parent’s life at risk when driving.
Unfortunately, people with dementia often cannot recognize
that they should no longer be driving. That’s when
you must step in and take over the situation. Also,
keep in mind that many medications can make your parent
drowsy or affect the reflexes such as certain anti-depressants,
sleep aids, antihistamines for allergies and colds,
painkillers, and diabetes prescriptions.
If your parent fails the test drive, how do you tell
him/her that driving is no longer an option?
• First, discuss the situation with your elderly
parent at a time when he/she seems rested, relaxed and
in the mood for conversation. Be non-threatening. Emphasize
the general problems that affect the older driver. Then
explain why you are concerned. Tell mom or dad what
you have noticed about their driving. Give specific
examples relative to his/her situation. (For example,
maybe your parent disobeyed stop signs, made a left
turn from the right lane and had several “near
misses.”) Also maybe your parent has had more than
one accident in the last six months, an unusual number
of dents in the car or has experienced a change in their
mobility. Discuss these points in a gentle, yet firm
manner.
• Second, recognize that this topic will probably
make your parent angry and defensive. As a result, it
may take at two, three, or more conversations before
your parent responds to your suggestion.
• Third, if your parent doesn’t respond to
you, make an appointment for your parent to see his/her
doctor. Contact the doctor in advance, express your
concerns and ask him/her to discuss the topic with your
parent. Then accompany your parent to the doctor to
make sure he/she provides the correct information. Many
elderly parents often deny the reality of their situation
and don’t tell the correct story so they can continue
with the status quo. Know that doctors are required
to file a report with the state if they feel their patient
should not be driving.
• Fourth, stage an intervention. Confront your
parent with a group of family, friends, neighbors, healthcare
professionals and others he/she views as authorities.
This activity often used in substance abuse cases, can
be very effective in helping your parent see the light.
Recognize, however, that this event can be an emotional
situation for everyone. Consequently, be firm, yet compassionate,
when handling the situation.
• Fifth, contact your local AAA or Department
of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and report your concerns. Most
states will contact older adults and have them take
a driving test, revoking their license, if necessary.
• Sixth, if none of the above works, take the
keys, disable the car or move it off the premises beyond
your parent’s reach. You can disable the car by
leaving the headlights on all night or disconnecting
the battery. If you think mom or dad will call a mechanic
or the AAAs, you have no choice but to eliminate all
access to the car by moving it off the premises.
Although your elderly parent may be resentful or angry
or with your actions, eventually he/she will realize
this was the best solution and it was done out of love
and concern for his/her safety.
What do you do when your parent retires from driving?
Create a transportation plan that will give them a
variety of options when he/she needs to go somewhere.
A written description of this plan should be easy to
follow and comfortable to use, can be placed in a binder
or notebook and left in an appropriate location in your
parent’s home such as near the kitchen phone.
Prior to starting the plan, you may want to contact
your local Area Agency on Aging to see if they can refer
you to local transportation services for senior citizens.
Once you’ve researched this, you can then begin
to develop your parent’s transportation plan. Here
are a few suggestions of what you may want to include:
• A table of contents. List every transportation
option here and its appropriate page number in the notebook.
This will help your parent find exactly what he/she
needs quickly and efficiently.
• A list of friends and families who can offer
rides. Call your parent’s neighbors, friends and
other family members. Tell them what you are doing and
ask for their cooperation in providing their telephone
numbers and days and times they are available to help.
Then include this information on one or two pages in
the notebook, perhaps in alphabetical order.
• A list of public transportation options. Call
your local cab, bus and train companies for their schedules.
Affix the schedules …one at a time…on individual
pages or sleeves in the notebook. Make sure the phone
numbers of these services are large enough and easy
to find. If not, you may want to write them down next
to the schedules in large, bold print. To reduce cab
fares, find out if your community offers discounted
fares for seniors. Also, call some of your parent’s
older friends and find out if they would be interested
in sharing cab fees. Then include their names and phone
numbers on the same or adjacent page.
• Include a Senior Shuttle Service for seniors,
if available. Find out about any discount or reduced
rate programs for older adults. In Pittsburgh, make
sure to include the name of “Access” and its
phone number. Also, determine if there are other transit
shuttles that are sponsored by non-profit or senior
organizations to transport those in your local or retirement
communities to area shopping areas. Many cities have
a service like this, including Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh,
contact Elder Express at 412-702-0050. It is available
to only those in the Squirrel Hill area.
• Identify volunteer drivers. Sometimes local
churches or synagogues have a driver volunteer program.
Find out the names and phone numbers of these folks
and place them in your notebook.
For more information about driving safety for your
parent, contact:
American Association of Retired Persons (AARP)
601 East Street. NW
Washington, DC 2004
800-424-3410
http://www.aarp.org
American Automobile Association
1000AAA Drive
Heathrow, FL 32746-5063
407-444-7000
http://www.aaa.com
AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety
1440 New York Avenue, NW, Ste 201
Washington, DC 20005
202-638-5944
http://www.aaafts.org
Paula Tchirkow, MSW, LSW, ACSW is president of Pittsburgh-based
Allegheny Geriatric Consultants which specializes in
geriatric care management and counsels adult children
who are struggling with the stress and overwhelming
issues of caring for an elderly parent. Visit Paula’s
website at www.caregivingadvice.com and sign up for
her bimonthly newsletter which offers practical tips
for caring for your elderly parent.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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